11 Stages of motorcycle riding in hell-no weather

Posted on May 5, 2014 in Text

1. “Ehem, really?”
Self doubt. Still inside, peeping out a window. Pondering, with little or no trust, how those clothes could possibly stay dry out there, in such windy apocalypse, when your own eyes are almost getting wet by simply staring at it.

2. “Oh well, I’d better get ready.”
Faint signs of self-imposed manning up.
You’d better¬†just wear all that squeaky stuff and start with hitting the road. It’s not raining too much, after all. Is it?

3. “OK, here we go. I guess it’s you and me, rain.”
You’re going to face it. Fully rain-proof clothed, the overall body flexibility reduced to the one of a dying drunken turtle, somehow you manage to crawl on the bike.

4. “Meh, not that bad.”
You’re riding. The outside world looked way nastier from the padded comfort of your room. This rain isn’t too bad and the track feels quite stable under your rubber. Looking good.

5. “Ha! Bring it on, show me what you have!”
Unjustified exuberance of enthusiasm. Also known as hubris.
Is that all you can do rain?! Phew, piece of cake!

6. “Wow, this is fun, but I’m starting to get pretty wet.”
First signs of slight subsidence. Cold starts digging its way to the bones. The mud keeps you busy, making you constantly search for balance. You’re still confident, just not quite as much as one hour ago.

7. “Well, that’s frankly enough misery for a single day.”
Wet. Awefully wet and cold. Oh, you know well how the weather has won, but still try to keep this bit of information out of your field of view.

8. “Why?”
No, seriously, why do you keep doing this to yourself? It’s a question referred to the day of self-inflicted disgrace. A variety of ideas swirl relentlessly across your mind, but mostly it’s about delirious revengeful promises to drain the oceans and melt the ice caps.

9. “Why?!”
This time it is a question of a much wider spectrum. It’s a Metaphysical Why. In your current state of mind, it all gets questioned and little makes sense.

10. “A roof, where’s a damn roof when you need one?!”
After the recent orgy of ideas, questions and threats to nature, your head can now only host that one word. Roof. Your self pilot is trying real hard to get you under one of those marvelous objects.

11. “Oh boy, that was fun!”
You’re under heavy blankets, the shower was glorious. Soon you’ll be sleeping. Hopefully it’ll stop raining by tomorrow. At least under some roof.